My Story: Evolving To Self-Love:
“I promise to continue to love myself fearlessly, whether I am married, in a relationship, or single. Life has taught me the art of self-love, a gift you give to yourself to honour yourself. I have mastered the art of loving myself, and I have clear enlightenment of what makes me feel loved. Loving and learning to love me has been liberating. The journey has been worth it. Even though some moments left me weaker than I’ve ever been in my life. But looking back at it all, my pain, and the moments I dreaded, they all opened my heart to the most important thing in life – having a relationship with yourself.”
I come from a line full of strong, resilient black women who have managed to succumb to the trials of life to be the best versions of themselves. One woman I particularly admire who is the inspiration behind my book and drive to do better in life is my late mother, Mavis. Though my book is about my personal journey and observations, I wouldn't have started it if it wasn't for the seeds sowed in my life as a little girl that continued to bloom even in her absence. I grew up in a small town called Gweru in Zimbabwe. I was raised by my parents with my grandparent's assistance before they returned to the heavens. I am an only child; however, I have been tremendously blessed with other siblings from my adoptive mother – my aunt, who has gracefully taken over her late sisters’ role by taking me in as one of her own. My greatest lessons in love came and continue to come through my family, society, and the world within me.
I was blessed to have been given parents who poured their love into my cup unconditionally, despite them having their own personal issues with each other. But as I grew older, I realized there was no such thing as a perfect relationship. My father taught me to be hardworking and to always aim for the best. He taught me the value of using my imagination, taking risks, and being creative. He was also the first man to introduce my heart to unconditional love, and consequently, the first man who had my heart. Joys with my father were found in simple moments he created and moments we shared, which is why it took me a decade to get over his death.
The first beautiful female mind my soul interacted with was that of my mother. As little as I was, she would always sit me down and share life’s experiences with me. She shared her sorrows and her joys. I admire her transparency even with the worst experiences of her life because they opened my mind and shaped me into the woman I am now. I would sit next to her, listening attentively, even though most of what she shared with me never made sense at the moment. My mother was a strong, resilient, kind, bold, and selfless woman who always sowed seeds of love and kindness into the lives of others. Even to this day, I still hear people praising her for the woman she was, and as I grow older, I start to see more of her in me and hope to do exceedingly better.
It’s only through navigating my loss, pain, and frustrations that I’ve become acquainted with one of the most important relationships in one’s life, relationship with self! Before starting my self-discovery journey, I lived my life for others and rarely for me. Even though I used to practise self-love, it was only when I began to reflect on my actions and activities that I realized my frustrations arose from my inability to love and understand who I was. Sailing out into my pain and frustrations about love introduced me to myself. One important thing I’ve learned is that it’s impossible to love others if you do not love yourself. Similarly, one can’t be the best versions of themselves until they fully understand who they are, what they stand for, and what matters to them. Discovering oneself does not occur overnight. It's a gradual process even up to now. I’m still finding parts of myself I never knew existed. The most important thing is to start the journey, and at the end of it all, you will fall in love with the woman you were all along.
I am grateful for embarking on this journey because now I know:
● Myself; my quirks, strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, fears, dreams, and hopes
● What love looks like to me
● How I want to be loved
● What makes my inner-self happy
● My values, non-negotiables, and dreams
Most importantly, it’s only when we know ourselves and the power within that we can arise, shine, and conquer the world, alongside the trial’s life would have dealt us. I look forward to sharing all the gems I’ve discovered about love, pain and growth with you, and I hope you’ll find inspiration from my story and evolve to self-love too.
